In 2011 a road in the Castle Eden area of Hartlepool was closed off because of what local residents perceived as problems with dogging. Retired council worker Phil Barclay was quoted as saying: “There was some sexual incidents – dogging and other horrible things.” Mr Barclay doesn’t go onto mention what the “other horrible” things are but if they are as “horrible” as dogging then I’d have no problem with them whatsoever. Apparently Mr Barclay believes two people having sex is a horrible thing. But I digress, back to 2014 and there is a possibility that the aforementioned road that was closed in 2011 could be reopened to service a crematorium. The residents obviously don’t want a crematorium replacing their lovely countryside, they cite reasons such as, fly tipping, increased traffic and chemical emissions and get this one….. mourners may get clobbered on the head by golf balls from the nearby golf club. It’s great that the residents of Castle Eden are so concerned for the welfare of others. In a last desperate attempt to stop this crematorium being built they now say that opening the road again will mean the doggers will return as well. Of course this isn’t a dogging story, it’s all about a self serving group of residents, one of whom is aptly named Barry Nutter, worried about their property values and scenic views and using the lame excuse of dogging. Well Mr Nutter we think you shouldn’t judge doggers by your own standards. Doggers are not likely to engage in their hobby next door to a crematorium, church, graveyard or anywhere else where a degree of respect would be expected. So I’m afraid you’re going to have to come up with another reason not to have that crem near you……what about ghosts ?!